Thursday, June 20, 2013

Holding On

Everything reminds me of you. A ticket, gloves, a pencil, lipbalm in random places, in useful pockets. Disposable wraps kept to hold you in. A bouquet card wrenched my heart. In between papers in a folder. My body grows colder. My mind wanders, my heart fawning to my logic, "It is love and love trumps all, love suffers, but love triumphs and love lasts through wind and storm."

Yes, we'll weather the weather, whatever the weather.

But say, if it's a tsunami or a hurricane? Say, if it's an earthquake and the ground beneath us splits, separating what was once one into ones?

I think of you, night and day, morning and evening, eating and sleeping, peeing and showering, pooping and studying, in examination, in places of worship, in a cold, dark room, at fun, sunny places; always. I think of you always. So present like air, you can never be anywhere else as constant as in my mind.

A waste of time. I am unminded. I have no holding spot, no eternal place in you, no unforgettable scars, no possible reunion. Once I let go, you will be gone. Forever.

Beyond me. Moving so quickly, so selfishly, so unmindedly...of me. And I am stuck with pieces of you in random places, in useful pockets with a painful heart and welled eyes.

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