There are certain things I’d rather just do myself, certain places I’d enjoy more in solitude. For example, the library, I love libraries and I hate it when I’m trying to study and my companion can’t shut his/her gap. (I never found a study buddy because they all seem to obliviously start conversations every 2 minutes or AFTER two minutes the previous one ended.)
Some people think going to restaurants and the cinemas alone is sad. On the contrary, I’m a lot happier eating and watching movies alone. No, I do have real, like non-imaginary, friends. Here is my share of reasons of why I hate sitting beside some of my “buds” in an auditorium(for any kind of *decent* entertainment).
ZOMG, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHADDAP, TUPTUPtuptuptup. Don’t tell me about your similar experience to that very ironic/awkward/funny scenario in the movie we are watching. I didn't queue up for half an hour and buy a ticket to listen to your lame stories. LATER maybe?
2) Lasting Laughter
That hilarious accident was 10 seconds ago in the previous scene and now they’ve moved onto the next one and it’s very solemn yet… you’re still hysterical about it. Not only are you ruining the mood, you’re distracting other people from experiencing the emotions the movie was supposed to make them feel. Giggling quietly to yourself would have been a more considerate option.
I’m not bothered by a hideous face so long you don’t spit all over me. I bend forward laughing so hard in my seat but I don’t go punching my neighbor’s stomach. Well, I do slap their shoulders and arms sometimes.
3) Question Asker
The point of a thriller is the mystery and that it’ll slowly unfold till the end where usually everything will be explained, the big bang revelation. The exciting part is discovering new clues and finding out if the character you suspected was the bad guy. You’re such a movie-pooper because you have no common sense that you can’t give intelligent guesses to even the simplest of insinuations. AND YOU ASK ME?!?!?!?! Sometimes I’m blank; I just wanna enjoy the movie. I don’t wanna think about anything, I’m being entertained and you’re disturbing me.
So if after the movie you’re still confused, then you could ask all the questions in the world and see if any one of your friends knows the answer. Just. Not. During. The. Movie.
Oh yeah, we’ll decide what to eat for dinner afterwards. Even though some parts are a little boring, you don’t know what will happen the next second and we could’ve missed something important. So please for the love of film, shut up.
4) Touchy Factor
Hold on a minute… are we on a date? Why are you holding my hand? Gee, did I give the wrong impression when I agreed to watching a movie with you alone? Uh-oh. There was also this other time where I was watching a cute, kiddy, animated movie with an older, male friend and he kept patting my thigh with the back of his hand each time he laughed. I thought it was extremely irritating and very inappropriate.
Oh gosh, the arm rest issue. It’s always a problem, there’s never enough space for two arms. Screw the cinema if that’s their way of convincing us to buy a gold class ticket in order to be comfortable. It’ll encourage piracy and illegal downloading so that the people could comfortably watch in their beds or sofas with a bowl of nachos and cheese.
Yeap, these are the main four factors of what made me go solo to the movos. The other annoyances like the audio going out when I paid 11 bloody ringgit, hooligans making noises, foot odor, BODY odor and loud eaters (close your mouth when you chew, mule) are only occasional.
I’m definitely getting a HD T.V. and a surround sound audio system (after purchasing my dream house) and collecting originals to indulge in the best of both worlds. The truest cinematic experience.