Today, or rather, yesterday night, I attended a cell group meeting. Eight out of ten of us present went for Asia Conference last week in Singapore. We were sharing what we learned, what we received and digested spiritually. An array of international Christian speakers were preaching throughout the week nearly all day long.
I will blog about that another time. What I want to write now is about what I said in the meeting. It's important to me because at first I was clueless about what to say and also I was the fourth person to speak. Each one of us were given two to three minutes to share but many of them went overtime.
Robenz, an Indonesian who aggitates me greatly, was the first chosen by my cell group leader. I wasn't listening, my bad. I can't recap on what he said but the next in line was Ai Lee. She talked about Phil Pringle preaching on prayer and Dr. Yonggi Cho's attitude of love. 'Everyone might say they love each other and hug each other although they bear grudges inside. So our acts of love should go beyond words.' is some where along the lines of what she said.
Chee Meng, the guitarist, sitting beside me talked about... I forgot. Whoopsy daisy. OKAY THE BEST PART OF THE NIGHT, MY TURN! Kidding, I was anxious the whole time. Scripting what to say, forcing myself to think back hard about all that was taught by the anointed leaders. I repeated the words of the previous few who quoted relevant points, desperately hoping it was the word FOR me only to find that I didn't feel strongly about it.
As Chee Meng ended his sharing the Holy Spirit reminded me of the crucial areas in my life that was changed because of the sermons I heard at Asia Conference. I picked two subjects: Prayer and Love.
Both Phil Pringle and Reinhard Bonnke, what the-I mean, pretty much ALL the preachers emphasized on praying. The first point I wrote during Pastor Phil's session was, "The Christian life is not hard. It's impossible." Before the continuation to "It's impossible" I was amazed, thinking he probably thought piety was easy and maybe many of us were in actuality, weak people.
Once he finished that little impactful follow up and paused for two seconds with an astonishing nod to let it sink, I expressed disbelief on face. What? Impossible? What does he mean by that? So we're all doomed for hell? After pondering for another few moments I saw that it was true. Since no one is perfect and GOD's standards in His commandments is of perfection, it is not humanly possible to live the Christian life.
"What is the Christian life?" you might ask. It is loving everyone, forgiving wrongdoing, reading the Bible, paying tithe, giving offering, praying, helping the needy, evangelising, repenting... not forgetting the "normal" things we're not supposed to do. No sex out of wedlock, no drunkenness, no evil thoughts, no drugs, no cussing... nope, none of it.
So what I spoke in front of the other nine church mates was that it made me realize how tough being a Christian is and that I shouldn't judge leaders. Because I always had to point and critisize every mistake of my pastor/helper/cell leader and never gave them some slack to be human. Through that sentence alone I understood their difficulty more. Which made it easier for me to love others, especially fellow sisters and brothers in Christ, people I hold up to in a higher standard rather than to judge and condemn.
I'm writing the first subject second because it's 3 in the morning and I'm incoherent. You know what, I'm... nah, changed my mind. I was gonna say I'm heading to bed and completing this post after I wake up. Since I typed it out already, I might as well.
I know, I know. I'm so indecisive. Fifty percent of my time is wasted on daydreaming and thirty percent is lost to dilemmas while the rest is spent on things I shouldn't be doing. "Time" as in my procrastination period and I procrastinate very, very frequently.
Yelps, eye bags. I regret. I'm sorry. I'll sleep early.