I've been hearing things. The people here are talking about me but not in a bad way. The first week they were discussing my ethnicity. Some silly rumors about me being Indonesian and others inquiring whether I was Korean or Taiwanese. I never, ever thought I looked Korean. This is the 6th or 7th time someone said that.
Today, two female stylists were sitting on a bench to my left while I was working away on my desk; calling people and making appointments. I found out later they were observing me and telling each other about what they thought of me. The long-haired girl called me sweet and gentle while the short-haired girl envied my young age.
Along came my manager who praised me in front of them. My manager said what a big help I was, recruiting so many models and organizing things. I smiled widely, happy and relieved that I did a good job and hoped that I would continue to excel. As I was walking away to the pantry, the long-haired girl told the other stylist again how sweet I looked.
Sweet. I never knew I was sweet. It only hit me hard when I read Vivien's blog one time and thought aloud, "WHAT? ME? I'M NOT SWEET!" Then I began to think about all the nice things I did for the people I loved so innocuously and realized that indeed it was in my nature to be sweet. But instead, I felt stupid. I was naive and was hurt in so many ways. So now I've become selective to who I want to be nice to, not VIPs or celebrities but good people who I feel is worthy of kindness and respect.
I've treated a majority of the people here with dignity because they made me feel accepted and special. As much as I am delighted over this new job and place, I fear that the novelty of my arrival will soon fade and I will be left unwanted and old.
Jamie makes me feel needed and useful (which is a wonderful feeling) and I thank God for the favor He has shown me and the favor from my colleagues. It's a lovely working environment, it's jolly and conducive to creativity and openness.
The only downside of working here is that I don't have much or any time to study at all. It has taken my energy and attention from revising at home. With my church commitments, these two are hoarding my lifestyle. Nevertheless, I enjoy it, I appreciate the knowledge and skill I have attained from it.
It's helping me to discover what I can do and what I could possibly be. Thank You, Father! Seriously, it was only after I fulfilled my building fund (Arise&Build) that all these blessings mysteriously popped up.
I knew that 2010 would be a great year.