I had a psychological urge. An urge to smoke. This was 2 years ago, when I would casually smoke for the fun of it. In the stairways, in car parks, in Singapore. Hah, I really do miss holding a stick and just sucking in grey vapor.
My favorite brand? SKL. Short for SkyLight, loved the pink packaging and absolutely the strawberry flavor. I would of used it as my cellphone holder if only it wasn't illegal. I smoked not because I was addicted or because of peer pressure but I continued the habit because I found an aroma I loved. Strawberry. The stub was pink as well!
I believe this sudden remembrance is connected to my current situation. Hey, this has happened before. My family is shitty snd shitty things are bound to happen. Oh, contact the church? They're too busy for me. They don't even have time to enquire if I could borrow their drums for practice much less this problematic issue.
They wouldn't understand anyways. They'd try to fix it by counseling my 'parents'. It doesn't work that way, this is a new era of complexity. This is normal, divorces are normal, teen drop outs are common and getting pregnant is such a fad now. What's the biggie?
The only way is to annihilate the cause or protect the victim from it. Any pro bono assasinators out there? No? How about a buck? That's all I have in my wallet right now. Plan B: Adoption. YES, ADOPT ME PASTOR KONG HEE. I WOULD LOVE YOU TO BE MY DADDY!
He hor, is that pastor lor, of that veli femes church wan, what church a? Ah... City Harvard ar? City Harvest Church. Weee. I'm just all goofy 'cus I read some Singaporean blogs and it got me to giggle how their lingo never changes. I am just so over it. That whole Hokmanlish (Hokkien+Mandarin+English).
"You bu yao yi wei hor ni hen CHIO, don't bwueyhaobai la LANJIAO!"
That's how I remembered them talking. Very crude, very... *zips mah lips* It's cute, no? Not ALL Singaporeans talk like that, just the minority of ah bengs and lians. What also amuses me is that it's a cycle. People I know that got pregnant and they were the ones labeling me a whore and slut. Ridonkulous, I don't really have to say anything to put it in your face.
Your abortion was embarrassing enough for your family, your shotgun marriage is a really sad story. Don't every girl dream of a boy kneeling down on one leg and willingly ask you to marry him? Didn't expect to blackmail with a baby huh?
Ah well, I never thought of that. Never wanted to get married nor ever believed in marriage or men. I'm not stupid enough to have sex with a random guy to rebel against my parents. I think I'm better than that. So as angry as I am, I will not go back to my old ways.
I will work on the future.