Thursday, March 26, 2009

You know and you know and you know.

Gee, it just hits me everytime. When I thought it was over, when I think I am fine it just backfires on me. Paranoia is such a bitch! Yeah, like from heart problems to cancer and now breathing problems.

I just think I'm not taking in enough air.

I still think (God forbid) I'm going to die.

I feel like chanting BABY JESUS a thousand times just to get it off my chest. Like gawd, I really need to go back-to-basics. Life is just so complicated and normal is never overrated. It's not like I'm being a weak sucker, it's really a hard thing to cope with. Blaming drugs is one thing but having abnormal thoughts is another.

I really would love to be normal right now. To be unnoticed and just... simple. What's the big deal about being sophisticated. IF I die, like IF, please tell Jay Chou I love him and and and...
roti cheese telur rocks the whole wide world!

No, tacos are much better than mamak food AND pop tarts.

Baby Jesus, Baby Jesus, Baby Jesus, Baby Jesus, Baby Jesus...

Prove me wrong please. So many times I thought I was going to die and yet I live another day. Hallelujah, glory to God, praise the Lord, Jesus is Lord.
Hm, I want my coffin to be in peach. And a big big obituary. With my blog url in it. Watermarked over a very nice photoshopped picture of me.

When you're alone
And life is making you lonely,
You can always go downtown
When you've got worries,
All the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, I know, downtown...


Simon said...

You really have thoughts of dying?
I have much more fear that somebody else would die... That i dont know what to do.. to be super sad and stuff like that
If i die i wont be here anymore to be sad at all, but that doesnt mean i am not careful
I am rather afraid someday my eyes will stop to work or my ears wont do their job anymore... and i cant really imagine how life would be than

Just losing an arm or leg would be horrifying

joshuaongys said...


Clarisse Teagen said...

I was never ever afraid of death.
Like I see it as a natural process.
and eventually we're all going to be with God again one day.

Little us up there with him all over. Just as it was planned on destiny's web.
We're only here on earth because there is something that we have to do to make this place a better world to live in.

. . . I know how you try to control death. . :) lol. reading from the post.

But why are you afraid to die?
It's only fiction movies which make it sound like it's a horrible thing with the drama and all. . but it's really part of life and thus, beautiful in its own way.

Simon said...

clarisse teagen:
omg please let me reply on that
because it is totally the opposite from what i would say

There definitly is no god
and there will be nothing after death
religion is just a way to make money

and of course dead is sad and it is horrible
Would you just be there and be happy for somebody who just died because he can finally be with god... sorry but i dont like that idea

Missyve said...

Simon - I've thought abt tht as well. So i thank God for my well being.

Clarisse- Thanks so much, it really helped me. I haven't had a freak out since your comment. I don't know, what if we don't go to heaven? What if our faith was a delusion?

I do believe God is real because life is absolutely impossible yet it happened. Thank you!<3

Missyve said...

joshua ong - HULLOOO!

Simon- You can never be too sure. :)

vvens said...

nice meeting you! :D