Just to let you guys in on my life. Last week I was actually working in Sunway Pyramid, inside the ice skating arena, there is a shop right beside it. I was supposed to work for 5 days but got sick after the second or third and pretty much stopped working afterwards.
Yes, it's just so so cold there and the bloody DJ really didn't know how to quarantine himself to stop the spread of his coughing. On the day he passed me his virus, there was a young girl who was doing homework with me on the counter. I was the cashier you see, so I had the privilege of sitting down most of the time but bored to death with that co-worker of mine.
If I'm not wrong, that girl's name was Sarah. Always loved that name - Sarah. Her boyfriend aged 17 tripped and cut himself, his knees and legs were bleeding. She came over dramatically and asked us for bandages. Rudely interrupting my conversation with the DJ, she was ever so attention-seeking and fake as to ask what she was to do.
"Oh mai gawd! Shaun/Shawn/Sean fell and he's bleeding! I need some bandages, um um um... FOUR! What should I do? Will it make me look so desperate if I go over? I really don't know what to do! I'm such a loser!"
Okay, maybe she didn't say the last part. I was asking her stuff and she TOTALLY IGNORED me while the DJ was telling her to chill. He was obviously entertaining her and feeding her attention when I wasn't.
"Are you sure? Are...you sure? He won't like think I'm obzessed with him will he? (Yes, like most Malaysian pronouncing 'obsessed' with a 'z')I... I don't know... What if... should I.. and he... *babbles on about lame stuff*"
That young woman is a total Hannah Montana wannabe. She then walked in and out of the store acting confused with her faux teenage-attitude. When she was finally gone after the DJ shooed her away with a very nice attention-giving pushy gesture, I told him, "What an attention whore."
I repented when I went home of course. HOW COULD I CALL A 14 YEAR-OLD A WHORE?! I mean, it's natural for teenagers to be dramatic. Look at Lizzy McGuire, Hannah Montana, Vanessa Hudgens. I just hate the whole act, it's not even entertaining. She was giving me un-entertaining entertainment right in front of me.
What pissed me off the most was that she ignored JUST BECAUSE I wouldn't give in to her act. I haven't mentioned her stealing my eraser! Yeah, sure it was an accident. Hm, anyways, another incident. There are many young, talented and filthy rich kids there that take up ice-skating as a hobby or sport 'cus their loving, doting parents can afford to. Buy them skates, tights, costumes and also pay for their lessons which isn't all cheap.
I asked this cute little lass what her age was, "7+3," she replied. Ah, that would make you 7...8...9... oh, I got it, 10. Hee. She asked for my age and I answered 10+6. That would be a long count for you young lady, you need your toes as well!
She made a big expression out it and thought I was much older than that. When asked what age she thought I was, she said 35. Hm, at that moment I probably could of threw a staple at her forehead and grab her hair and bang it against the table. Aha, I'm kidding, I couldn't do such a thing... or could I?
Anyways, besides the thought of killing a 10 year old girl, I was thinking what on earth was making me look this old. I don't smoke, do drugs or watch corpses all day long. I have to do more masks and think about living more often.
Writing death wishes isn't a good idea it seems. I feel like telling her, " YOU SAY THAT AGAIN AND YOU WON'T LIVE TO MY AGE NOW!" Ahaaaaa. Just kidding... or am I?
I'm not so concerned about growing old anymore 'cus I don't mind being old as long as I live a long, healthy and happy life. Why stop the clock when you can create so many wonderful memories with it? Watching Desperate Housewives has given me a new dream about marrying a good husband and moving into the suburbs, becoming a great neighbor and the perfect housewife.
Baking, partying and living the simple life is such a fantasy right now. And fantasies are never good for the soul. They distract you from reality which you are denying.
Fantasy: Bree Van De Kamp to be my mother. Julie Meyer as a sister.
And did you know, I killed 3 moths today and I'm seeing the last one being eaten by ants now. I'm wondering if that would make me a murderer. That is why I've been having so many freak outs these past few weeks. THIS IS LIFE! LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE. I bet you that moth didn't think he was gonna die today, did he? BUT HE DID, BECAUSE I KILLED HIM/HER/IT.
So I have been avoiding those thoughts recently and the peace of the Lord has been upon me. I have now truly understand 'what the Lord giveth, He taketh away'. It is because that now I grasp the complexity and importance of life that other people condone or rather, overlook that right now I feel that I deserve to live more than anybody else in the world.
Like totally. Other people bitch, fight, dramatize, basically hate everything and everyone and waste STUFF. You get what I mean, STUFF. The Bible says 'Let the dead bury themselves'.
I do not want to be dead. Life is like a blooming flower that will wither ever so quickly and that is what I am afraid of. People stamp on them, people pluck them, they're glory is shortlived. Gah, I am just ranting on so much I hope you haven't read till this point and gotten bored of this post paragraphs ago. Hah, look, I just killed a mosquito a second ago by clapping.
We're just... just all waiting to die. To just become dust. Love that song, Dust In The Wind. Oh no I'm not freaking out NOW! No no no. No no nooo. I'm fine, praise the Lord.
If I were to die, it is all in the perfect timing of the Lord. God bless you and me and the whole wide world and let's just pray we all get together and love one another and not get any diseases.
Jesus, won't you come back here in another 50 years or so? I really do not want to face death and would prefer if You or maybe not, I heard Judgement Day is scary. Tribulation is worse! I wish I was an angel, I need anxiety pills. Yeah, they'd be really helpful now.