Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Complains of a hamster

It is absolutely improper to give animals away as 'present' during the festive seasons or whatever holiday you are celebrating. I really believe that you should only get a pet when you understand the responsibility you are taking. I have learned this the hard way, I have owned 6 (or 7) hamster altogether and when my last hamster died (Tiramisu), I told myself I would not want another one for the year at least.

A pity. That vow was broken just days before it would be fulfilled. A friend of mine presented me with a hamster for a Christmas gift. I remember her calling me a couple of days before that acquiring if I had a hamster cage 'cus her cousin wanted to buy a hamster and needed a cage to borrow. I told I did have one and said I won't be using it 'cus I did not want to have another hamster because of the hassle of maintenance i.e. washing the cage, refilling the water, buying food.

I gave a really disappointed look. I wasn't upset about the present, I'm not saying I don't appreciate it or that I was expecting something of more value. I was very distraught by the fact that I had ALREADY told her I didn't want one and this hamster would be a burden to me. If I were to get a pet, I want it to feel loved and not an annoyance, to be cherished and not neglected.

It was just plain ignorance that she went ahead to purchase an animal to be given as a gift to a person who did not want one and told her so before hand. I tried my best to accept it. I was very, very, very agitated. I'm sorry dear, don't want to be blaming you like hell but it's just wrong!

Animals should be treated as 'things'. They have feelings, they deserve respect, they need love and care and support and FOOD. THAT IS ANOTHER ISSUE I WANNA TALK ABOUT. I don't even have enough money for myself, people claim that I can't even take care of MYSELF. If I can't even support myself, my lifestyle and buy my things. Why the hell should I save up my peanuts to buy it food and hay and tidbits.

I want that hamster to be happy and for all of my previous hamsters, i always bought them tidbits and yummy animal snacks. WHY!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?! I am so frustrated over this that I couldn't help but blog about it. WHY/1/1/1/1/1/1/

It's not like some friggin' plant that needs only soil and water everyday. A small packet of hamster food is like RM$6. About a day and a half worth of my allowance. I'M NOT BEING STINGY OR SELFISH HERE, I do not earn my own income and I did not ask for this in the first place. I foresaw that I did not have the ability to take care of any living thing (plants included) that is why I became more self-absorbed.

Why should I attempt to feed another being when I can barely satisfy myself? Now I have less money for my movies, make-up, clothes, hair, nails. Oh? Find a job? DO YOU THINK IT'S EASY ESPECIALLY WITH MY AGE?! You think I didn't try? You think I'm a selfish prick?! Screw you! I'm fully aware of my capabilities and having another responsibility is not one of them.

I thought it was extremely inconsiderate of her to buy me a fucking hamster because she had no other ideas of what to get me. I'D RATHER GET NOTHING SERIOUSLY. I'D RATHER HAVE NOTHING THAN TO GET SOMETHING I DID NOT WANT.

Okay, okay, okay. I am overreacting... not. It's a serious issue, hundreds of pets are abandoned from irresponsible owners and they get abused, killed, tortured on the streets. Do you find that funny? I don't.

*swallows chill pill*

*raises arms in the air and waves* Okay, okay. I am fine now. I have vented everything I have been holding in for a month. There's a good side to everything, right? Right. So what have i benefited from this little creature of Christmassy giving?

Life, in many ways is similar to my situation. God or fate puts us in dire circumstances. Dreadful situations we have programmed ourselves to avoid and prevent. But no, life is shitty, life is hard. We get what we want and hate all the time. Pretend that my gift was like an unexpected pregnancy. Do i abort it or accept it and deal with it?

In my shoes of much less trauma, I accepted it. I cleaned the cage, I loved it, I talked to it, I fed it and I am still trying to tame it. I am dealing with my issue. I am molding my character. I am relieved that that hamster did not get a bad owner. Hallelujah.

It's just like having my own child. Supporting it, loving it, talking to him. Makes me feel better when life at home gets shitty. That cute little bundle of joy cheers me up a little. It might be a blessing in disguise after all? Whenever I feel deprived of hugs, I pet it. Whenever I am down for a while, just the look of his adorable face would help me bear with it a little longer.

I wish it could sustain by itself but I must learn how to sacrifice. To give a part of me for this puny pet of mine. I have come to love it as my own.

Hmm. That felt good. This is one of the reasons why I blog. The freedom of expression, a vendor of thoughts and opinions.

*Written on January 21st, 2009 at 10A.M.-11A.M.

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