Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Honestly, is it the best policy?

Something's been on my mind for MONTHS. I've written a whole essay in my head the other night while I layed on bed, unable to fall asleep. Pretty much forgotten everything. So don't mind me if I'm rather random.

I don't understand when people call me 'mean'. That word is not fit for me. I don't pull your hair, or push you down the stairs for fun do I? The things I say are true. They are my honest opinions. If you find it 'mean' and that I shouldn't have said so/something else, then I might as well become a liar.

Why bother to euphemize when the meaning is the same? Petty people should die, what are they living for?! I am disgusted to see suck-ups or ass-kissers being accepted and preferred. Personally, I shun people who flatter excessively. How can we tolerate these losers?!

Unless, of course, they enjoy it. They want compliments, they yearn for praises, even though it's fake. Hearing only what they wanna hear. Let's take a scenario for example.

Your friend has horrible fashion sense/ bad hair day/ fugly zits/ chocolate-plagued teeth. They ask you obliviously, "How do I look? *beams confidence*"
What would you say?

I would reply, "Gawd, what happened to you?! (OR) Good." I can't be bothered to lay it all nicely for you. " Um, you needa comb your hair a little. Brush your teeth or something...hmm, did you wear concealer? I think you should. Perhaps, wearing something more simple would suit that lovely skirt of yours. *smiles*"

If I asked you something, just give it to me straight. I'm so sick of holding back my words, fearing of hurting someone's feelings. YOU MIGHT AS WELL NOT ASK ME ANYTHING IF YOU WANT ME TO LIE ABOUT IT. If you look like shit, I'll say that. If you look awesome, I'll compliment. Don't expect me to understand your insecurities/esteem and boost it up for you by feeding you lies.

Tell me the next time you want lies. EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT GOOD AT LYING, I'll do it just for you. :D Yeah, we all can be sarcastic at times. Can't take jokes? I won't go far as to insult your parents, religion, or race. Maybe just kid around like calling my Indian friend 'niggas'. I don't find it offensive at all, you can call me a chink. I wouldn't mind. Bitch, asshole, douche bag, jackass, bastard, etc. They are all offensive words but we don't bother about them as much. Why so?

Hope you don't assume I make racist comments frequently, it's hardly ever mentioned. It isn't a nice/necessary thing to say either. I'm glad that I encounter sensitive people. It changed me, I no longer thought 'everyone was cool just like me'. I've learned to respect other's limit. Friends that I sought advice for told me that I should just 'keep it in mind' whenever I talk to peeps.

I did some soul searching weeks ago. "Is it just me or are they just petty losers?" I changed, a little. With the motto, "Don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say." I guess the whole world is gonna try to out-flatter eveyone. I hate to say nice things I don't mean.

Those who do just try so hard to fit in. How long can you keep it up? Pleasing all the people you want to be with. I'd feel so degraded if I were you. Once you're in the group you act all popular and awesome. You never noticed how much I despised you, looking at you, trying to find some respect for you. Gawd, is it all gone...

They're everywhere! I see them in my school, the KSCB, parties, and a such. Egos are sickening.


I wish the whole world were strangers.

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