Thursday, November 29, 2007

Christmas Spirit

I've been excited for Christmas since December 26, 2006. Okay, sounds lame, but so true. After the partying at orchard. It still didn't feel right. It's never right since i've come here. 6 snowless winters i've experienced. To me, Christmas is NEVER complete without the snow. Yeah, all that matters is worshipping God, and going to church and spreading love.

But still, i'm never really happy on Christmas. Random, petty and few gifts. In Canada, i received awesome stuff, like expensive board games ( Othello and Malarky), a nice dress, cards. Over here? Jig-saw puzzles, nothing, and sms'. yea, so great. i wouldn't mind if Malaysia had snow. It's all that matters. Snow. And the beautiful perfect Christmas tree, i never really had one of those. Or really celebrated the true meaning of Christmas in Canada, since my family weren't Christians back then. Now it's only me and my bro anyway~ Lol. But i was happy and joyful, because of the snow, and the ice-skating. Especially drinking hot chocolate in the cold, seeing your breath condense in the air, making it seem like you're smoking. I absolutely loved it. I hate Christmas over here, artificial man-made snow, *sighs*

My perfect Christmas would be my family, ornating a beautiful big tree, beautifying my home with blinking multi-colored lights, hanging stockings everywhere, making a big snowman outside our house, with a carrot for it's nose, and i'll just fall to ground, spreading my arms and legs creating the image of an angel. Yea, i would love a smoky chimney, but that contributes to global warming. So i'll give it a pass. I wonder if i'll ever live this dream out.Every perfect moment i had back then is gone forever, going back would be great, but it'll never be the same again. No, i doubt anybody can understand what i'm saying or how i'm feeling now. It's like, fairytale turn into a nightmare.

But i'm glad i did, i guess it's the way GOD planned it? i became a Christian here, i was baptized here, i've learned many things the hard way over here. And mistakes that i will never repeat in the future. It's a good thing, right?

Still, I stubbornly wish to go back after 6 years living here. Why ain't I some rich Caucasian who went to study to China for 6 years and could be able to return to her hometown? Gahhs* All these 'why' and 'how come' questions will never end. I accept my life the way it is, and i just hope for a better, happier future.

hmm.


Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
'round you virgin mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night
Son of god
Oh love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus lord at thy birth
Oh Jesus lord at thy birth


I wanna name my birthday Zoemas! :D
Or Emilymas!

-5AM-

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